Short Fuse

Fred “Short Fuse” Howard was angry. Very angry. It didn't take much to set him off. The other day the power went out in the office and he flew off the handle. It was the third time that month he had to replace one of the fuses.

“I'm sick of these short fuses!” He said as he would replace them.

The last time it happened was especially bad because he accidentally bought the wrong kind of fuse to replace it and it turned out to be too short.

“Damn this short fuse!” He said as he went back to the store to get the correct fuse. Today he was angry because there was something wrong with the dynamite he had ordered. The fuses on them were far too short to be used in the mines safely. He was on the phone with the supplier, screaming down the phone, demanding they send him dynamite with appropriately sized fuses.

“Do you know how dangerous a dynamite with a short fuse is?” He yelled.

The only thing that alleviated his mood was the report on the new blow torches he had ordered. They were far more efficient than the old ones which meant they could fuse metal much quicker.

“These blow-torches make a real short fuse of everything!” The report cheerfully said.

After getting off the phone, Fred called his stock broker who advised him that the electric company Fuse, was going to announce record losses and if he shorts some of their stock now, he could make a lot of money:

“You should short Fuse”, his broker said.

So Fred did and to celebrate the impending windfall of cash, he went to the local bar at the end of the day and got merrily drunk. He begun flirting with one of the women there and they ended back at his place. Things got hot and heavy until Fred removed his pants and she said:

“Ugh, what a short fuse!”